That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
