why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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