She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
