sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
