i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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