Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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