So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
