she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
