How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i came on her dog
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
