I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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