HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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