So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
tell your sister to shave her snatch
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize