if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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