The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
