He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
