i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
