dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
