Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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