All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
