I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
