Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
