He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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