Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
