the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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