Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
