maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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