so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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