I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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