After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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