Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
