I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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