You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
