I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Found your dick twin last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
