I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
