Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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