I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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