god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm like, not good at living.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
