I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize