I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
