Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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