i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize