you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
