another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
