I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
