Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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