I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
