i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
