are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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