I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
