I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
