forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
