Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Actions speak louder than pants.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
