U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
