I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
