I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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