Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
