The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
