my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
