He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
