just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
