Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
