he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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