the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
